Learning to walk

Yesterday at Sangha we were let through a guided meditation. The directions were to think of a problem that we are having and imagine that a wise person had taken over our body: we then "watched" as this wise person handled the problem. I thought about two problems: one, is the ineffective way that I communicate in an argument, the second was the fact that I lose track of my practice. While meditating the wise person gave me an answer for both questions.

The first was to repeat what the other person has said, and to find out where they are coming from. That way even if you never agree, you will at least understand what makes them feel the way they do.

The second was a lesson that I have been slow to learn. That lesson is simple, when you remember to practice, do it, when you don't, do it the next time that you remember. Most people beat themselves up over their shortcomings, this is not helpful, in fact it works to further discourage one from his or her practice.

As I meditated this wise person showed me the image of a small child learning to walk. I thought about the fact that most people don't remember what it was like to learn to walk. Without doubt, we all faltered fell, cried, and at times gave up. Our practice is like that too, we will falter, we will make mistakes, but if we can realize that it is going to happen, perhaps, just perhaps, we can pick ourselves up without beating ourselves up.

wealth

All people would agree that knowledge is something that can be shared, without lessening its value. that when you teach someone something the teacher does not lose any knowledge.
Today my brother taught me how to get my lap top hooked up to the Internet. He used his knowledge to teach me something. I do not think that anybody would say that his knowledge was cheapened or depleted in any way. we both benefit, me with new access, him with something that cannot be quantified, good feelings if you will.

When you ask people about money, the answer is different. Most people feel that when one person gives money to another, they may have the same "good feeling", but they are worth less.

Today I gave money to my husband, so that he could get something to drink. He had .25 and needed 1.25 for a drink. I had a pocket full of change, and gave him 1.25. I was left with .80 and he gave me his now extra 25 cents. Before I gave him change, I had enough for a drink, and he did not. When I gave him change he had enough for a drink, and I did not. Most people would say that I lost. I was lessened by this exchange. I do not agree, and here is why.
Without the exchange I would have had a soda, but my husband would have had nothing. With the exchange my husband has a soda and I have a bag of chips. We both win.

Once our basic needs are taken care of, we should be kingly givers to those around us. If we do this we are not worth less, we are worth much more.

Giving.

I am reading a book that describes giving as non grasping. Giving is a way to eliminate greed in our lives. I wanted to share the three types of givers that the book outlines.
1. The beggarly giver.
This is a person who is very reluctant to give, and when they do it is only things they don't want. This is the type of person that would give you what they are days away from throwing in the trash. This type of giving is not done with a lot of love. It is difficult and is done only after much deliberation.

2. The friendly giver.
This is someone that gives what they themselves would use. It is done more freely, and with less deliberation.

3. The kingly giver.
This is the highest kind of giver. This is a person who gives the best of what they have. This person gives spontaneously, without needing to deliberate at all. For them, "non-greed is so strong in their minds that at every opportunity they share what is most treasured in an easy and loving way." (1)


1. Goldstien, Joseph. "The experience of insight." Shanbalha publications inc, Boston Mass. 1987.

impermanence

At Sangha this week, we talked about the idea of impermanence. Tim, who led the meditation, talked about the fact that good things in life can be valuable teachers. He said that when things are going poorly, it is easy to recognize that there was a lesson to be learned. When things are going well, it is more difficult to realize that. He said that success is addictive, that when you get some you want more. In Buddhist teachings it is often talked about that grasping for things or feelings leads only to more grasping.
We then split up into groups to talk about the ideas presented.
One woman in my group talked about her daughter being nominated for an award. She said that when her daughter didn't win she found herself thinking that the school should have given every student an award. As she drove away she asked herself if she would have been so equitable if her daughter had won.
Then someone pointed out that not getting excited about the good things sounded lame; at this point a young man spoke up. He said that to enjoy the good moments you observe them, he described good moments as clouds in the sky.
The best way to handle any moment, good or bad, is to observe it without becoming identified with it. You simply live in the moment, watching it, knowing that it will pass. To be at peace and eliminated grasping, you need to embrace the idea of impermanence.

Potential

In his book an open heart, the Dalai Lama says that nobody is special. He says that we all have the same potential for enlightenment. He does not exclude himself from this statement. He describes his life as a series of opportunities, nothing more. In another of his books he says that beginning meditation early is best, but that beginning was the thing. Whenever you start the process of meditation and seeking to save the many beings, you are beginning to build good karma.

We often think that if someone is more attractive than we are, or has a talent that we do not, that they have a leg up on us in life. This is not so. It is not our skills that matter; it is our commitment to the process of learning. In life when we look at other people we see the “finished product”. We go to a concert and say “wow, what talent, she is so gifted.” We do not see the hours of rehearsal that went into the performance. The amount of effort a person has to expend in any given task may differ from person to person, but effort is needed. When you practice your meditation, you are the only one that matters. This is your walk down the middle path, it has to be done your way.

Yesterday I went to a sangha for the first time, while there I found that my meditation was purely relaxed. After the meditation there was sharing, where people could talk about whatever they were experiencing. I shared the idea of nobody being special. Someone across the room shared a story about a dream he had, in the dream the Dalai Lama told him not to put himself above anyone, and not to put himself below anyone either. I found this insight very inspiring, and I hope you do as well.

The natural man

Thomas Hobbs contends that the natural state of mankind is war. Buddhism teaches that the natural state of man is pure wisdom. As I have read and examined my own experience, I have come to the conclusion that the Buddhist way of thinking is the correct one.

People have been told for so long that man is imperfect, in a fallen state since Adam. Men embody this idea as a result. For centuries men have been told that they are alike. This sounds good, until you realize that this equality is all about desiring to acquire other peoples stuff.

The only way to stop living in fear of others is to get rid of these discriminations in our minds. We need to realize that humankind is equal in our potential to find enlightenment. We are also equal in our desires. We desire pleasure and want to avoid pain. That’s it! Now what is pleasure? In the only form important to the ending of suffering, pleasure is the avoidance or ending of suffering.

We need to rethink what real pleasure is. It is not the acquisition of goods. It is not taking from others and giving to ourselves. It is having a mind that is at peace. It is living in every moment. It is teaching others to do the same. Pleasure is a smile shared with a stranger. It is walking meditation, and cultivating true compassion for all beings.

Time and practice

My meditation may be short, and may happen at random times, but I notice a real difference when I do it.
I am impatient I want others to feel the effects of my meditation too. That doesn't always happen. When it doesn't I get discouraged and wonder if I am changing at all. Then I look at how I feel when I am being mindful versus when I am not. There is a big difference within me, and someday that feeling of calm and peace will flow out of me and touch others.
The Dalai Lama says that a hermit once put a black mark on his wall whenever he had an angry thought. His walls were very dark at first, but with time he was able to add plenty of white marks. If a hermit had problems with anger, surely I will.
It is important to remember that meditation is not an instant cure for ill feelings, nor is it a competition. Trust in yourself, be patient, and practice.