My meditation may be short, and may happen at random times, but I notice a real difference when I do it.
I am impatient I want others to feel the effects of my meditation too. That doesn't always happen. When it doesn't I get discouraged and wonder if I am changing at all. Then I look at how I feel when I am being mindful versus when I am not. There is a big difference within me, and someday that feeling of calm and peace will flow out of me and touch others.
The Dalai Lama says that a hermit once put a black mark on his wall whenever he had an angry thought. His walls were very dark at first, but with time he was able to add plenty of white marks. If a hermit had problems with anger, surely I will.
It is important to remember that meditation is not an instant cure for ill feelings, nor is it a competition. Trust in yourself, be patient, and practice.
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